a small autobiography

In the realm of memories where i am forced to think even if i don't want to i find these years a mixture of transitions. The goods and the bads of people and of my own circle around the ups and downs of life as prominent features, sometimes supporting each other and sometimes going against eachother... Starting off from my mother's lap and then going to school with all those childish thoughts, weeping with my finger in my father's hand and then sitting on those small chairs, looking at those new faces with those strange and new looks, meeting miss qudsia who in a few days teaches us how to tie our lacis, then the daily assembly, then the 3rd class where miss bushra ordered us to say 2 rakat nafal after every assembly and on those small desks..and then after getting the pride of being a crescentarian i found myself in Gc where i encountered a different environment with a different pleasure and now those days of dependence have somewhat changed to independence and here i am watching the processes of an industry.the pride of uet is wid me..probably the most influencing and memorable time of my life.....these were some thoughts that came out in morning to form a small autobiography

It feels so good..!

It feels so good when u imagine scattered pieces of a broken cup coming together to form a cup again,it feels so good when u expect something good and it turns out to b good 4 u...it feels even better when u r down and foreseeing something worse for urself but there comes a hope for u out of nowhere..it feels so gud when haphazard thoughts combine to bring a single unique nd creative thought, it feels so good when u lose something and then u get it again..it feels so gud when u unite and emerge as a single force..it feels so gud when u consider people having relationships similar to strong magnetic fields which will never let them unbind, it feels so good when u are reminiscing about good days...
Sometimes human imaginations become so wavered that he is forced to think about these things things but somehow or the other this has some relation with our lives..may b this is the randomness and simplicity of life..

for my homeland!!

i just had my breakfast with my parents....there were some hot topics to be discussed today..23rd march, zardari. gillani, gordon brown etc....but at last 23rd march prevailed...

a private channel was playing national songs sung on the occasion of 1965 war...i jumped onto the chance and asked my parents about those heart rending stories....and they then carried on..!!

a furious wave of emotions and feelings came out from them..it seemed as if i had again given them a chance to live in a patriotic mood after a long time...they narrated the stories of valour, enthusiasm, courage that this nation showed when it came to saving their country...they almost wept and i was also conquered by those great thoughts...

they told me how people despite of the curfew went to help their soldiers...ready to die for their nation, how our soldiers used to guard us with transistors in their hands and listening to the national anthems of noor jahan..listening to the speech of ayub khan...men women children all felt a pleasure in becoming a part of all this...... their was one way ahead of them...they wanted to do it for their country...it was by this sheer enthusiasm that we were able to defeat the batils....hindustan really didnt know..k "us ne kis kom ko lalkara hai..." GOD bless pakistan..!!!

the worst feeling!!

electrical conquered us again this time..how good football players they are..it has always been tough playing against them...people had been waiting for this moment for the last four years...every year they watched mechanical thrashed by electrical in the semis...for the last three years we watched these scenes sitting outside...we had a lot of ambitions...a lot of DREAMS..every year we waited for a chance to prove ourselves....in front of ourselves and i dont know in front of how many other people...

this year when we were given a chance we almost proved it...this meant to us a lot..and we all knew this....we managed to guide our team to the final after a long wait ...and most importantly with a team that majorly comprised of pakistanis...as they were never given a chance to prove themselves before ...but unfortunately we lost on penalties....

we were almost in tears...it is really hard to bear a defeat when one deserves to win....but this is how it goes sometimes and you have to bear with it because this teaches you to seek for an ever higher ambition, an even higher spot...i had the worst feeling and em still having it...but i know this should be helping me in one way or the other..!!!

inter faculty

ahhhhhhhhhhh..its is one great feeling...we will be playing inter faculty's final tomorrow..it is against  electrical..the feelings are a mixture of everything..tension, excitement etc etc etc....what a good time to have this achievement....and just when my love for football was dying away..this day came to my rescue..:P that scale of enthusiasm is slowly rising and this is what matters to me in the end...above all it is one great honour..!!!

my love for football!!!

there are not many things around me which i love more than football..but it seems as if that love is losing its strength...from the past few days i have found that my love for football has somewhat withered away....i dont know why....but certainly that passion is decreasing...these days i have to force myself to play football which is not usual with me.....i m certainly not aware of the reasons but this is indeed happening...but above all i guess this will not last long...because i still say.."there are not so many things that i love more than football"!!!!

patriotic platform of lalazar!!!

it happened again today...i kept my novel with me in uni with the hope that i can read some part of it in the class...but then again thanx to the few fellows who again abstained me from doing this...and usually when they say that chalo yar lecture chorte hain...and then most of them agree as always...and then everybody trying to force every other person near him to go to lala...i find nothing special in front of my eyes..other than sitting idle in lalazar for another one or two hours...but then when i sit in lalazar i find "yar baki chezen kia hain is k samne,,!!! not even my novel....:P....it happens almost every day but everyday it is different and attractive in a new way..

and today again we had something new....



and then session started..everybody ordered one thing or the other to eat...haks ordered chips and as usual everyody had atleast one successful attempt at his plate....since i had a sound breakfast today so i preffered not to spend any money....soon i found some new faces sitting around me who usually do not sit with us anywhere in uni...

and then during the course of daily jughat bazi nawaz shahbaz issue was discussed..everybody jumped into the discussion with his own feelings and views...we all cursed zardari for doing this all...although this wasnt really a special occasion for us when it comes to cursing zardari....ye to roz ka kam hai hamara...we do not need any special time for this...we take it as our responsibility...

but jokes apart..everybody was concerned about country's present and future..every single face was clearly depicting the disappointment he was suffering with just because of this chaos created by these so called leaders and survivors of our nation.....

people usually say that this country is suffering because patriotism has withered away from the hearts of our youth and i always disagree..it is this patriotism that atleast forces us to think something better for our country....the need is to inculcate the belief in ourselves that sun of respite will rise one day..despite of all that is happening today we are still not disappointed..just because we are waiting for that sun to rise with the force of our patriotism..

those will be the platforms like lalazar which will make people think even harder and with this a change will take place inshallah!!.....patriotiosm is there, it is all about giving it a chance to break free..!!!

THINKING ABOUT MY BLOG and GPRS!!

i have been related to blogging for quite some time now.....i started this a few months back and with a definite purpose in my mind...i wanted to improve my vocabulary as well as to correct my frequently made mistakes of english and i tell u what i simply thought at that time that i would write something here seldom or one can say that i considered it to be a TIME PASS!!!

but now feelings have changed,thoughts have changed...

now i want to write more and more here...i have started loving this stuff...this is because i have found an easy way to express whatever is in my inside...i have found out that words in written form play an important part in your life...words depict your true fellings and when i cannot say something i use my written words to express everything...

i have noticed a change in myself .....and that is i have started thinking about my blog more and more...whenever i am thinking something i always think atleast for once to write those thoughts here...and even when i m not thinking anything else i think about my blog...what to write, when to write and how to write...and when i think all this i feel the need of GPRS..just because i want to express those feelings at the time i am thinking about them...but i know that i will not have this facility soon...because i dont have the money right now to buy a mobile having GPRS and my father is strongly against changing mobiles frequently and certainly i cannot take my system with me all the time..:p...so it comes out to be a wish which has circumstances against it presently...!!!

luck goes BEGGING!!!

occasion: arfa baji's wedding (mehndi)

eraf , who is my cousin as well as a very dear friend of mine....he stopped me from telling this whole incident to anyone but i cant stop myself...i hope he does not read this...

at mehndi eraf came to me and said....
"yar hamze ye bandi mujhe bht ala lagti hai..."
me: kon si...
he showed to me
me: oye ye..
ye bandi nahi bachi hai..:P
eraf:: kia matlab?
me:oye bhai ye sirf 14 15 sal ki hogi..kuch khayal kar yar...
eraf..:oye ja kam kar 15 sal ki kahan se a gai ye...
me: yar main tere se jhut bol raha hun..

and then someone called him so this "HEALTHY" discussion was forcefully ended on that day..:P

(barat)...

eraf came to me again..
"yar kuch kar yar....main mar jaon ga..
me: yar tujhe main ne kal bhi samjhaya tha kuch akal kar...
eraf: oye wo to thek hai magar is DIL ka kaya karun..:lol
eraf:yar tu hans raha hai..main serious hun...
and then i again laughed at this..
eraf: yar tu mujhe is ka nam bata bus...


the next day the story continues in the same fashion and i again kept him quite by explaining the same problems..

After that we both forgot that thing considering it a lost story..:P

after few months...

arfa baji...eraf's sis came to our house and said..."phupho wo wajiha(that girl) ka rishta aya hai"...
ami..:acha kis ka??
arfa baji.: rizwan....( arfa baji's dewar)
as soon as i listened to this i texted eraf just to mock at him in a certain way...
and as soon as i got the reply from him...i was shocked...
eraf: tujhe main aik bat bataon..
me: han
eraf: us ki ami ne mere liye bhi bat ki thi...
i being so deeply amazed replied
me:phir??
eraf: phir kya meri ami ne keh diya k abhi is ki umer nahi hai,,,abhi is ki bat main kahin nahi paki karun gi...
me:lol lol lol lol
eraf: hans le hans le..
me: han to hansna hi hai...acha ye bata k ye sub bat tere samne hui thi..
eraf: han
me: lol lol lol lol..acha ub kya karna hai??
eraf: kya karna hai...? kuch nahi... o ja yar so ja k..tang na kar


next day he came to my place and said with a sad tone..yar hamze wo wajiha ki bat paki ho gai hai..!!! initially we both looked at each other in astonishment but then we both started laughing as we both knew..
" luck of eraf has gone BEGGING"" lol....
but there is certainly one positve aspect...eraf is two years elder to me..agar us ka rishta a gaya hai to mera bhi kuch ziada dur nai..:P

WE still hope!!!

right now i m listening to music and gathering some ideas to write something here....a little while ago i wanted to write..i had the ideas too but somehow or the other as soon as i started the ideas went away quickly......:P i closed the window and started doing something else....but soon i got rid of the deficieny and now i want to write because music is with me and ideas are coming like a furious wave to me...lets see what happens next..::P

its been a while now...the last ufl ended a few months back....and the way it ended made us think strongly about its existence.....it made us think hard...at one time v decided to end this all and the other time v decided to give its responsibilities to other people...it was a haphazard situation for us....the turmoil had really captured us strongly......!! 

we have been organising ufl for the past two years  but we r yet to find the true spirit of the game..we r yet to find the people( except few) who only participate to play the game and not to critcise negatively and to create a confusion in whatever they see and whatever is related to them.....

above all, people are now again asking about the next ufl....because they are hoping that things will be better this time around...and just because of these few people who are there to support us we also hope the same...we know that considering the past events there is every chance that it comes out to be a hope against hope in the end  but only for  the sake of football WE STILL HOPE!! 

there is one more "HOPE"  that i m hoping ........ the director sports "MR. TANVEER (NOW) will not do the same now and now pakistanis now will be given proper chance now to prove themselves now" :D..again A hope against hope...but WE STILL HOPE!!! 

PATIENCE!!!

it really hurts me....whenever i watch him screaming silently..it really hurts me....he finds no way out...he has been surrounded by these confusions for most of his life....blood cancer at the age of 8...fighting against it for the next 7-8 years..... it was not long ago when i was playing cricket and he appeared from one end of the road and as soon he saw me he came running to me, hugged me zealously and then said" oye main thek ho gaya" the satisfaction in his eyes said it all!!!...on his way back he took the bat and asked me to bowl...i bowled as fast as i could...but the response was a huge sixer!!! it really made me happy.. i found the proof that he was indeed fit...

now he finds himself being called for another tough test....his patience is amazing...the way he is dealing with all this is exemplary...

whenever i see in his eyes...i feel it is enough for him...he can not carry on with this anymore...but then his satisfactory smile proves me wrong....giving me the impression that he is ready for it..!!!!...because he knows that if ALLAH has called him once again to prove his faith in HIM..HE will bless him with the necessary patience also....hats off to u t-2!!!! GOD BLESS U!!!!

look and books..

yesterday i finally managed to change my look......it really had been a long journey.. but the consequences were not really good...as soon as i entered into my house with that change!!!...it seemed as if the whole world was against me...my sis, my mom and almost everyone were ready to sue me for this...my mother was so dissapointed that she stopped talking to me ( she hates gotis)...ahhhh!! the only thing that gave me hope was when my father came and said " yar tujhe te ye achi lag rahi hai" i was quite amazed at the comment but that was enough for me...':P

but the really bad part of it is that my mother is still not talking to me and i am seriously thinking to shave it(goti) off it goes like this..!!!:P

books..well its time for reading some books alongwith changing my look...i really need them....i will soon buy some.... this might help me in improving my relations with my mom...!!! samjhe gin k parhne lag giya hai bacha.......:P...... love you mom!!!

REMINISCENCE AND REALITIES

 last night i was lying on my bed, reminiscing about the past two years...these wonderful days have passed so quickly....this period carried so much fun so many ups and downs......bunking classes, playing football, route pe ana route pe jana, seven people travelling by a rickshaw, sitting idle for the whole day in lalazar , ufl, ALL PAK, CHAPON K LIYE etc etc etc...what else you need to make your life worth living....:D

 

i was thinking and smiling within myself.....

then the mode of thoughts changed...i went back to that day when me, imran and asif were walking near the main library..(not long ago)...we saw a group of boys carrying big bags on their shoulders and holding t-squares in their hands...imran asked

"oye hamze jaldi guess kar k ye kis session k hain

i replied: " 08"...

imran: kyun?

me: " in ke hath me t-squares jo hain"

imran:" nahi..kyunk ye 8 9 phir rahee hain..abhi agle sal 6 reh jaen ge aur 3rd year me hamari tarah 4..

we laughed at that thought considering it to be a humourous one at that time...but that really wasnt humourous... and then that falshback continued but in the other "direction"...the depth of that last sentence and the events related to it..that all made me sad.....

but then u have to bear with all this because these are the REALITIES of life...!!!!!

umetumaurhum

there is not such a long story of umetumaurhum.....but it is better that i do not  mention the complete scene..:D 

in short umetumaurhum is no more :D